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[11 Apr 2006|09:53pm] |
and i love him.
and this.
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[11 Apr 2006|09:25pm] |
father, why won't you say
rather than mumbling
words-in-creek
that meander wonderfully
around my reason?
mother, why do you pretend
that all you see
is not?
father, cease your
leaping-over-strife
dive in, i say
drink the blood or filter it!
mother, cease manifesting
fear
in place of anything else.
and i, rendered nothing
by nothing
from nothing
should cease being nothing
for no reasons at all.
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| two-sided argument with my own eyes |
[09 Jan 2006|08:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sufjan Stevens - The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is... |
] |
it troubles me to think that mob mentality affects me when it can. even worse that it does with a mob per se of about 20, 30 tops. sometimes i do wish i had walls. higher ones, at least. to walk as an unaffected being for a short period of time. music is the closest i get. drugs would naturally be the next step. talking to myself (figuratively, mind you) is more interesting than talking to anyone else much of the time...to enter my inner universe...something to strive for? maybe.
producing little miracles in my eyes isn't near exciting when no one wants to listen, on the other hand. little miracles being things i accept that are of my own contrivance. its frustrating at those times..and i feel most claustrophobic..of the walls of my skull. imperfection is obviously inevitable, anyway. but which should i indulge in...
i suppose i'd feel safest inside, being the hermit i am. in Azia's words, "yearbook is (my) soda can." but replace yearbook with my head. watch as over years my feet, fingers, legs shrink into my head untill i become only the speck of nothingness (everythingness) which is my mind and/or spirit.
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| Reviva. Yes, on purpose. |
[31 Dec 2005|06:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again |
] |
So. It's almost been a year, hasn't it. wow. well since my myspace has officially passed away, i might as well use this old thing in combo with my xanga again.
my aunt woke me up at 9.30 this morning and told me she's taking me to see King Kong, haha. Pretty good (and fucking long) movie. Good contemporary version; did the classic justice. Anyway, afterward i went into tower records and got two cds: The Who - The Ultimate Collection, and Jethro Tull - Songs from the Wood. Both terrific. Then we went to the cheesecake factory. The whole trip lasted uh 7 hours? hahaha too long for a movie trip, no? oh well.
so now i'm sitting at home on new year's eve with no plans. i want to drink. bad. i'm still irrationally mad at sean for being in san francisco. i wanted to spend tonight with him at first, from olivia's suggestion. then i was going to eat dinner with her...but she's not feeling well. no one else really wants to do anything with me or isn't telling me or is grounded or can't get me a ride. not that i'd be able to have much fun since my parents want me home for the ball drop. sheesh, what's up with all this family suffocation?
anyway. i've lost interest in typing any more for this entry. au revoir.
james <3
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| one sticky wicket.. |
[07 Feb 2005|10:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 meh.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Lucifer Sam - Pink Floyd |
] |
I'm too lazy to really update so here's the gist:
saturday
- work saturday was good, starting next week im at the front desk with jonathan
- worked on guitar a bit
sunday
- went to burbank yesterday...expected to meet up with hugo...he called in the morning and told me his sister decided to not take him and up and left for work (like a bitch, if i might add)
- flynnie, marga, liv, and i had fun i guess. I bought my pink floyd shirt (the one with the pig)
- liv and i went to brendans' superbowl party. lotsa drunk ppl. it was alright. fucking Tim almost won $500 and we dont know who the fuck he is haha.
- liv let me borrow Madcap = book from England bout Syd Barrett (who is the theme of my next xanga once i finish it)
- cried a bit
today = monday
- didn't go to school today, not really in the greatest mood for school
- read Madcap and Life of Pi a lot. Both very, very good.
- found out liv showed up at brendans after practice
- walked over there and gave liv The Wall (which she forgot yesterday at my house)
- hung out for a couple hours. gave liv two Pink Floyd songs when Syd was the lead
- sat in brendan's treehouse talkin bout random shit for a long ass time.
- hugo came onlike and IMed liv while we were on at brendans house. It signed me offline as soon as i told him i was talking...i bet he thinks im mad which is a really bad thing... >< (but then i got home and noticed he never IMed me. Just liv...)
- worked on photoshop with leslie over the internet...finished my Syd Barrett/Pink Floyd banner. Thanks to leslie's genious, might i add.
that's about it. oh and on another note, i'm talking with raymond again. god i missed that guy. i can never really hold a grudge very long. i'm planning on trying another time this weekend with hugo. Me, him, liv, zoo, valentines day. If this doesn't work out, i don't know what to do..
jamesy <3
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| OH MY FUCK! |
[24 Jan 2005|04:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 YAY! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Pink Floyd - Shine On You Crazy Diamond (parts i-v) |
] |
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! OH BABY YES! haha. *does happy dance* 12305 = best number ever.
In other news...I went to the galleria with livsia! We ate at the cheesecake factory..mm..and bought cds. She bought Guns n' Roses "Appetite for Destruction" and I bought Pink Floyd "Wish You Were Here". I'm in love with mine! ^^ hehe. Shine on you craaaaaazy diamond! >] But yeah after we had to walk home which was like at 6 or so so it was dark and took like 45 to get home but we didn't mind. We got to see the signs on those fences that say you could die and have a lil picture muahha.
MARGA MADE OUT WITH ZACH OH BABY! Haha good thing liv and i didn't go with her or she might not have made sweet, sweet mouth love!! They even took a picture, how cute lol. IM NEXT. lol kidding!
Hm...what else...LIV MOONED ME (as in gave me Dark Side of the Moon) lol. KICKASS! I looouve it so much that it was playing for 4 hours before i noticed that "Money" had played like 5 times lol then i was like oh...change cd lol.
Well thats all for now, but AHHHH!!! HUGO!!! My 2nd boyfriend EVER!
jamesy <3
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[13 Jan 2005|05:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Pigs (Three Different Kinds) - Pink Floyd |
] |
hugo...from ray's party..found my sn...and talked to me...omg
and and we talked for a long time. i like him. a lot. but i feel bad..cause of raymond....am i a horrible person? i mean i win rays affections over when i don't really mean to...and then hes hurt..and now i have a thing for his ex? it seems so much worse than i'd wish! i finally have a chance with someone..and it has to be an ex of a friend! ahhhhh!
HELP ME CAPTAIN PLANET!
jamesy <3
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| first day, baby |
[11 Jan 2005|03:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
thuper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
In The Flesh? - Pink Floyd (The Wall is fucking beautiful) |
] |
first day of school.
saw friends. Amy bought me my own eye liner (yay!) and FROM THE MUDDY BANKS OF WISKAH, oh baby! Sanam let me borrow a bright eyes cd and gave me our journal! She wrote quite a bit. Jamie looks somewhat different...more...adult..its weird..lol but not in a bad way.
It was funny in history mrs. netzley was great as usual. She went on all period about her trip to Dublin, London, and Avignon. It was great lol. When she was taking roll and she got to me she was like "oh james, cute scarf." and went on about how she got a new scarf-fashion sense form the trip lol. perfect thing to say to a gay guy. compliment his clothes. muhaha. (Katie made my scarf ;] ) We made fun of mrs. netzley as usual and she was like "Ok...guys...i actually KIND OF MISSED YOU, so DONT MESS WITH THAT! let me be in my own little dream world.." haha shes great.
I'm taking weight training with Amy 'stead of tennis since it's my last semester of P.E. Kickass i can't wait to start.
English..meh watched some recent show on advertisement...sort of cool cause i'm considering getting in that business...but the competition would probably kill me o.O stephen's awful pretty though. lol.
Calculus..oh baby im in AP Calculus. i kick some ass lol. We got fricken..homework...lol..on the first day...and not some cheesy lame easy homework...like we started a new chapter already o.O
Chemistry...Ms. Baumwirt was tellin us 'bout all the labs we're gonna do this year, sounds fun. We had review notes from last semester...wow the stuff i forgot lol.
French...come on people i slept. Thats it.
Alrighty well i'm gone.
jamesy <3
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[10 Jan 2005|07:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
weeeee! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dig A Pony - The Beatles (oh baby dig that pony) |
] |
isn't it sad that i hadn't actually heard purple haze until two days ago?
and my favorite beatles song is officially Dig a Pony. Oh baby.
jamesy <3
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| yay! |
[07 Jan 2005|01:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 i did some good shit muhaha |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bitch - The Rolling Stones (oh baby) |
] |
Got my report card.
world history - A+ (wtf...in netzley?!)
tennis - A(obviously..lol)
english - A
math analysis - A
chemistry - A
french 2 - A+
jamesy <3
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| it begins.. |
[04 Jan 2005|12:11am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 devious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones <3 |
] |
allison: jamesybaby
allison: the world sucks
allison: when do i get to be queen of queens?
me: lol
me: soon my dear
me: the revolution has just begun
muhahahaha!
jamesy <3
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|
[02 Jan 2005|11:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nothing Gets Crossed Out - Bright Eyes |
] |
wooooah i haven't written in a long while lol.
well lets see... i learned how to play Sappy on my guitar! whoot! even the whooole damn solo, baby. oh yes. i rock liek that. heh wow theres nothing else to say. oh tomorrow im goin to urban outfitters with leslie and marga and livsia and imma buy my blazer maybe! whoooot! i gotsta shop for raymond, too. Im gonna go see him on thurs for his bday! yay!!! finally! ^^
alrighty byes!
james <3
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| Seven. |
[31 Aug 2004|04:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
It comes in waves. one after another like the constant seven of the ocean. seven, the last, washed up on my conscience, flooding the nooks and crannies with stained eyes and broken feelings. it seems seas hate a coward; a coward like me. therefore if takes pleasure in beating down, down, down on the bow of my psyche, slowly ravaging it apart in numerous directions; scattering pieces like tissue paper into its own accompanying heavy gale. ...all rather than turning its face towards another soul ...another coward. so, like Promethius, it seems it will go on unnoticed for all eternity.
- James <3
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| Wooo! point of great discovery! |
[08 Aug 2004|08:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
I have just discovered rich text mode! Lol it makes it like xanga! So yay! I was getting annoyed of the have-to-type-in-all-html-codes thing lol. And the lj cut! Yay!! Hehe. All this...thanks to the lizzie-meister lol. Whoot! go you again!
The cable just went out like on the whole block. I pity those who enjoy tv. it's their loss. hehe.
James <3
( imma take this lil' bugger out for a test drive )
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| Whoot! Excitement! |
[08 Aug 2004|06:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 creative |
] |
Look! A new icon! Hehe finally one of my own. Yes, its meee! Haha i finally got a pic of me that i dont scream at lol. But yay im so happy lol. so shut up XP
I got up real early today! 7!! woah!! lol. i was working on my friend's layout that i said i'd have done today..yet i hadn't started lol. but i finished! and i like it! Clickify here to open it in a new window Yeah he gave me pix he wanted in it and told me stuff and i worked from it. Today's just such a photoshop day! lol
OMG Andrew AND Cedric dont know what photoshop is! I almost cried! I was like oh my god. what planet are you from you freaks?! lol jk i love you guys. ;] But yeah i saved the day and explained to them what it was. hehe. i did photoshop a great deed today. lol *tear* id do anything for my true love.
Omg im dedicating this entry to Lizzie though. Yesterday i felt like crying and i said i needed someone to hug...so being the sweet Lizzie she is she took pix of her hand spelling out H-U-G M-E in sign language! (Though she got the G and E wrong) i love her so much! Its the thought that counts, right? am i right? hehe.
Well ill talk to ya peeps later. byes
james <3
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